HR / Recruiting
The HR team and Recruiters are building our family by finding the perfect contributors to Holistic Engineering Laboratories Ltd. and supporting our employees throughout their journey with us.
Rules
Prefer hiring people who already know everything—and make sure they have that "know-it-all" attitude, too. This saves you the hassle of investing in their development. Performance reviews become completely unnecessary, freeing up your valuable time.
Hire highly specialized employees who are experts in one narrow area—and only want to work in that area. This minimizes the risk of internal transfers and saves you the trouble of backfilling their roles.
Use as many vague buzzwords as possible in your job postings, with a strong focus on SEO optimization. The goal is to generate the largest applicant pool imaginable—after all, the number of applicants is a key KPI when evaluating leadership performance - and the success of your empoyer branding initiatives.
Rather than going through the hassle of actually assessing a candidate’s qualifications, just focus on the number of years they've worked. Academic titles are another easily measurable indicator. Both make it much simpler to slot the person into the appropriate salary band - efficient and conveniently superficial.
To avoid being blamed for having too many open positions, make sure that once someone is hired, they’re never let go due to lack of competence or performance - especially not during the probation period, because that would clearly make you the one who hired the wrong person. And if you did make a mistake? Just promote the employee and transfer them to another department - so any future performance issues can be pinned on someone else.
As a recruiter, never respond too quickly to qualified applicants—you wouldn’t want to give them the chance to apply elsewhere. This ensures that hiring processes don’t wrap up too quickly, keeping your role relevant and in demand. Plus, you demonstrate budget consciousness: an open position doesn’t strain the payroll.
Sounds familiar and nevertheless strange?
Take a look at why this page exists – our motivation and how you can work with it in the application.